Conversations with Advocate Barbie

Advocate Barbie was convicted recently of, amongst other things, child abuse. Before she was dragged into the underworld she was held in high regard in the legal and fashion stakes of South Africa.

Pandenaughty’s Golfing Promotions idolised her. The Chairman, my father, and secretary, George Dracatos, his attorney, offered support by way of letters and requests for consultation and opportunities for promotion.

The motto at Pandenaughty’s Golfing Promotions was:

“Don’t let it happen to you,

Join Pandenaughty’s Golfing Promotions.

We provide and see to all your golfing needs.

Let us arrange to have your handicap re-assessed.”

They even had corporate insurance. By a company called the Mafia. On their business card small print should have been written:

“Insured by the Mafia.

You hit us, we hit you!”

Pandenaughty’s was a way of elevating a handicapped four ball to a level of competition with near scratch corporate golfers. This promotions company sometimes did play scratch golf: occasionally they scratched their balls while playing!

This handicapped four ball was the life and soul of the local golf course, Reading, and any visiting course they contracted with. They would return home with great prizes, but less of the alcoholic ones. Those were usually consumed on site.

His attorney kept a file of letters from the chairman to his secretary requesting the pleasure of Advocate Barbie’s presence at this or that golfing promotion. The innuendo was high: she was invited to join them for stroke play.

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