Sometimes I Think

Sometimes I think and nothing happens. That seems to happen a lot during this period of the second wave of Covid-19 that has hit my hospital. Netcare Kingsway Hospital is a community private hospital and has been overwhelmed in caring for patients with Covid-19.

Sometimes I think and something happens. That’s when a story takes shape and I wonder how I will tie it together to make it work.

Sometimes I think about the pandemic. I focus on the problems we face and work out solutions. I reflect on all we have done. I reflect on what we have learnt. Although we were all tired after the first wave, at least for the second wave we had systems in place. Systems to protect staff with PPE, systems to control the flow of patients and systems to deals with patients waiting outside and waiting for an ICU bed.

Sometimes I think that it is affecting everyone. It is affecting every nation. Uniting some and dividing others.

Sometimes I think that it is not only about the nurses and doctors and first responders. It is about the cleaners and security staff, about the porters and the kitchen staff. About the switchboard operator and the admission clerks. They are the ones that make up the scaffolding from which the nurses and doctors flesh out their caring and compassion. Without them risking close contact with sick patients health care workers could not do what they have had to do. 

Sometimes I think about the undertakers I see moving around the hospital. Death certificates in hand if they are lucky, otherwise their unfazed search for the source of that important document. I have seen families cry as a body has been transferred to the undertaker’s van. It was eerie to see a full length leg prosthesis pushed like a spare part above one body.

Sometimes I think about all of these people. I just have not written about them. Now I will write about them.

It may look like it’s only sometimes that I think about them. But today I walked out of my office holding a tray doughnuts. A patient brought them yesterday to celebrate his birthday with us. I didn’t save his life. I am just an orthopedic surgeon. I only fix bones as my clever anesthesiologist insists. I was grateful my patient thought of us but I never got round to having the doughnut.

Sometimes I think clearly. This time I took the doughnuts to the security guard that directs people in crisis to the back of the hospital for them to be triaged. He remains calm and polite and cares as much as any nurse or doctor. I know that because I see him every day he comes on duty. I wave as I drive in and he salutes me.

Sometimes I wish I could do more for them. The doughnuts for the security guard were a start.

Moving mannequins at a Durban outdoor market

Superlatives

I could use superlatives to describe our nurses at Netcare Kingsway Hospital.

There are fancy words like  unprecedented, incredible, amazing, unbelievable, conscientious and self-sacrificing.

But I will not.

I will just tell you what they do:

Our nurses work twelve hour shifts. They arrive early and leave late. They wait in line to  sign in with a thumb print for work. Then they log in on their cell phones to be screened for Covid-19 symptoms and checked for fever. They queue up to sign in. Then they wait to be screened. 

From there they walk to their ward. There is not as much noise as before. It is quiet as they put their bag and food in their locker. Before they used to leave their phones in the locker. Now the phone is a vital tool to connect. Not to social media, but to hospital and doctor groups. Orders, stats and death notices fill the small screens.

They don PPE to start work and care for their patients. They wear a mask, visor, gown and gloves all day. It gets hot. Their throats become dry.  Tea and lunch breaks are short and sometimes missed because they are busy. They cannot sit with friends. The tea rooms only allow two nurses at a time. I see them walking to their cars to eat lunch. There is no life in how they spend the time which is meant to recharge their soul.

The wards are full. We can give each patient an oxygen mask or rebreather. Not everyone can get high flow oxygen because our oxygen supply system will fail. This even after we installed a huge tank and free flow piping that we hose down every hour to prevent the freezing of the pipes. I do not need to explain the cap we face if we need to escalate breathing support. There are a fixed number of ventilators with a waiting list.

As I write this, the words seem without aim.

I have chosen my words to reflect the staccato world of talking through masks and behind visors.

Yet somehow richer words appear. The intensity of the ICU’s is cloaked in an almost church like peace as these highly qualified nurses work around the clock to save lives. When I talk to them all I see are tired eyes above the mask line, yet there is a gentleness and concern that pervades their every action.

My theatre staff have lost all sense of stability. They have to work in wards, ICU, the emergency department, triage or screening. They also call the families to update them of the loved ones condition. My theatre staff have another duty: they care for those we have lost. They do this with great dignity.

This week I got some grass cutting helmet visors (I am holding two in the photo) for some of the theatre staff. We all know they are the most comfy and safe as well. They are bulky and ugly. One of the nurses put her visor on and walked as if on a catwalk. She was showing off her new visor as if it was a designer handbag.

As she walked she tilted her head to show the large blue helmet with clear plastic screen and said “fabulous!”.

Now that is a superlative I did not expect to hear.

Holding the grass cutting visors in a stainless steel hospital lift. See my phone in a plastic bag.

Burials: We can’t keep up!

Those were the headlines in one of the Sunday papers.

He was around fifty years old and with his wife. They stood in front of me in the supermarket. He was in shorts and a light blue t-shirt, wearing beach flip-flops. Standard casual wear for the holiday beach town where I work at Netcare Kingsway Hospital in Amanzimtoti, on the KwaZulu-Natal South Coast of South Africa.

I could see him reading the headlines. Then he shook his head and muttered something to his wife.

“News” was all I heard. It was accusatory, devoid of any connection to the surge in Covid-19 infections we are experiencing in this province. 

I was not in my surgical scrubs. I too wore shorts and a t-shirt, although not as smart as his. Instead of flip flops I wore my Crocs. Every day at the hospital I wear closed restaurant Crocs that I wash every day with my scrubs. It was good to be in my beach and bush Crocs.

“It’s true, you know” I said. “ I can take you to Kingsway Hospital down the road and show you the people waiting outside.” I knew they were there,  sucking on oxygen from  battered black cylinders. They would have been triaged by a team of nurses, vital signs recorded and placed on the oxygen as they waited for a cubicle in our emergency department. A colored sticker on their shirt or blouse would identify them: BLUE for family members, YELLOW for non-Covid medical problems ( the minority) and RED for COVID-19 patients.

“I don’t believe it. I don’t know anyone who has it. I don’t know anyone who has died from it. I know hundreds of teachers, and not one has it. But I do know people who have been murdered in the last year.” He was calm and spoke his truth.

His words hurt me.

I chose not to argue. He would not recognize me when he came to the back of the emergency department. All he would see is my eyes above the mask and behind the visor. I would be unable to help him. Not because he did not believe that Covid-19 was a real problem. I would not be able to help him because there would be twenty other patients waiting for a hospital bed. Maybe he would get one on the other side of the city, or even in another town. I would not wish ill on him. But he should see the eyes of those pleading for care and attention. He should see their eyes when the person lying on a stretcher next to them dies. He should see all the bodies waiting in the holding area.

They are waiting for the undertakers who can’t keep up with the burials.

The nurses at my hospital can’t keep up either. I cannot keep up with how many get sick with Covid.

One of the emergency doctors steeled himself before a shift. “I can’t do this anymore.”

He was tired of seeing patients and not having beds for them. He was tired of seeing people die. He was tired because two of his colleagues were sick with Covid and he had to carry the extra shifts.

Still he went out to face the death and destruction that this disease forces on us.

The man in front of me at the supermarket que would not believe any of this.

The amazing thing is he would still be treated at my hospital like anyone else if he needed help. He would be treated by nurses and doctors who just can’t keep up. 

He may end up with a RED sticker on his blue t-shirt…

Begrafnisse: Ons kan nie voorbly – Afrikaaans for Buritals: we cannot keep up